This often happened when we had clashes of egos and wanted to protect our pride or vulnerable self. Its still ego when we try to defend ourselves, but its not always negative, healthy ego is when you can stand up for yourself and setting up healthy boundaries, it will only be negative when you use it to crush others well being. If youre in this kind of case, you must first understand your own shadow or weaknesses that you are unaware of. With this awareness of yourselr, it could make you have a humbleness and steadiness (aka mentally steady or sharp) no matter how harsh or rude or injustice others are towards you, you still stand strong unaffected, you still stand unbothered, put a halt from being affected by everything. That is indeed a good practical insight/method/advice that you can exercise with to be applied on your self conduct, especially whenever you have to encounter ego clashes with others who wanted to humiliate or degrade you. Always realise this, whenever someone tried to degrade you, that means they also feel negative and sensitive/insecure about things hence they treat others/you with ignorance or defence mechanism, so if they feel hurt or disturbed by you unfairly or because of your unawareness, they would act in this way, in order to make you realise something or they dont know how to deal with it in other way so they decide to just easily ridicule you or trying to corner you so you could realise something about yourself. Definitely this is a vicious cycle, but rest assured, you dont need to feel worry or feeling like youre being attacked. Try realise this, that youre not powerless, you are a human with imperfections but youre still living and have chances to make up for your mistakes and youre constantly developing if you can focus on working your mind and soul to be deeper/sharper. When you accept your own self, with all its shadows and good parts, you will be humble enough to understand others from where they come from, which made them how they are in their attitude towards you. Visualise what kind of attitude or behavior that is wise enough or true, to develop self integrity or virtue or dignity or nobility.
I hope you can reflect on this (do self introspection as well) and take control over yourself from feeling overwhelmed by psychological attacks from others, always know youre trying to be yourself as well, understand your bad and good side, and learn to be diligent enough to be a better person. You wont feel so affected by this weak attack after you know yourself more. It wont be a fast progress but you will understand things deeper when you keep diligently learning from your trials and errors.
Let them be and just control what you can control : your self
Since we cant control others or external situations. Visualise what kind of attitude or behavior that is wise enough or true, to develop self integrity or virtue or dignity or nobility. If you can remain steady with virtuous characteristic or personality, itll help you pass through any mockery or injustice or unfairness without making you feel so dejected and insecure.
You can just ignore those psychological attacks while doing self introspection and think about how to respond in a better way next time, or you can just not give in to the “ego battle” and then respond them respectfully despite how they are to you, in this way youre being professional or objective.
Written by Eliza Hutapea