Suffering from This World is a Way to Awake You for The Truth

From christianity that I believe in, we humans consume the tree of knowledge (knowing good and bad), but we dont have the greater capacity to understand how to handle this, so we are in this lower realm of earth, where metaphorically we have become the same as the universal ‘God’ of this universe, but all the things which is good and bad mixed up together, we cant fully handle it wisely, we either use it wisely or manipulate it. And the way for increasing understanding of being away from pain and pleasure is through a very small difficult road, where we humans tend to consider it as ‘unfair suffering’.

You know we tend to perceive God because of what happened to us in this life and some doesnt believe and have anger or antipathy to it. Or some have curiosity. But this all is just human thing.

With this knowing good and bad, we project what is exist within us to something greater from us, either we believe there is God or not, we are talking about something regarding that existence itself. God is like yin and yang. In the bible God said Himself, “I am the creator of this universe, I create day and night, peace and calamity” this statement is a mystery.

Isaiah 45:7 I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the LORD, do all these things. (NIV)

Dont worry this is the thing that can be quite difficult to explain, short message : God doesnt abandon humans in their world suffering. Regardless if life feels so hard, there is an unseen thing we have to acknowledge that is you can be sharp resilient when you go through tribulations and triumph over it. Maybe something so incredibly shitful happened in your life, so you just want to complain or angry and became hateful. But rest assured, there is no way God let suffering like its nothing.

The idea that this world is a place of suffering that there’s the knowledge of good and evil, it doesnt mean God let babies being killed, but we humans who live near the babies, what are we doing? The good humans will do justice, the bad humans will keep being bad.

We just have to do and use good to balance this world, since this world is in the middle, low frequency. Below our realm is the destruction, the upper realm is where we couldnt reach yet, because we are bound to this world. Yes this is true, hence we have to not identify ourselves with the world, because our souls are not from this world. Where kingdom of destruction wants to ruin our souls. Jesus wanted humans to not depend on the human flesh (Desires, where the supernatural kingdom of darkness of this world reign supreme tries to manipulate it, the devil wants to ruin and manipulate humans, so Jesus wants to save this world through letting people know to leave from the old form but reborn a new. His Sword (is His Words) and His existence while on earth, He exorcized many people to get rid of legions demons within human body.

Imagine how humans can live if all their life only experience peace and harmony… they became blind and dull and dont know truth. Thats why there is something good and wise if we know suffering. Its making us aware and we can know which way is bad and good, since we have freewill. Remember, diamonds and swords go through process of heat. This is a good analogy for the topic here I believe.

Its understandable if you have your own views regarding God, if you hate God, its definitely personal dwellings we experience. But still, dont worry.

To be beyond pleasure and pain, this is the key.

Written by Eliza Hutapea

Follow Your Path, No Need to Feel Inhibited By Someone’s Negative Thoughts

Go explore and test your strength, you learn from actually exploring by yourself first, through mistakes and encounter new territories, not by the expectations of others. Those people who said that you’re only going nowhere only took an opportunity to lower your motivation in expanding yourself while youre still in a state of not knowing alot of things. You’ll find answers, just keep studying your decisions and what you decide and where it leads and how the consequences influence you. There is actually no failure when you try, only mistakes that can be invaluable to guide you.

Written by Eliza Hutapea

You Have Free Will, Use It Wisely

Remember, through all the hardships, when you try your best to be better, that action itself already shows your progress to self development, in a scope of being aware of it. Despite the fall and rise of our strength to face challenges. You forge your soul to be more strong spiritually (this will affect your mentality and psyche) and not being shackled by lower frequency which is destructive and only inhibit you to self-actualize or to have process of individuation. Always humbly learn from everything you experienced, no matter how difficult or normal it is, practice to do things through discernment of the law of this universe. You dont need to feel defeated or helpless even if the circumstaces are unbelievably unmanagable, you are always being guided by God by this universe, flow gently with it.

On how to be confident in your study

Dont worry, we should give space to increase our expertise or skills in whatever we want to study. People have different innate talents or tendencies. Even though not all people have the same level of learning fast or absorbing knowledge and information in a quick moment, everyone can still learn in their own phases, dont worry about how others are faster than you, just take your time to love what you are studying. Everything can be obtained through specific exercises or practices, if you can take time to really adjust yourself to learn, you can do it, imagine being guided by Sebastian Michaelis from Black Butler, youre being taught on how to be sophisticated in any kind of major studies.

Now imagine that it is your own internal self who controls and takes care of you to learn to study so you can be smarter. Definitely you can have higher grade or have deep knowledge about the subject you are studyingm as long as you know how to understand the formula.

Written by Eliza Hutapea

Think lightly of yourself and deeper of the world

An ancient samurai once said, Miyamoto Musashi : *”think lightly of yourself and deeply of the world.”* but in order to get to this stage, someone must already resolved whats within them, already enhanced in managing the inner parts so as to not opposing himself (his troubled state within his antilibidinal ego), in this way he can understand the collective as part of himself and himself as part of the collective. Letting go of the personal ego needs, and reach to the awarenese of things beyond himself, i.e, awareness of others.

His quote wasnt meant to teach you to consider yourself superficially but more about being aware that your problems are also being experienced by others. The pain, sufferings, struggles, joy, pleasure or happiness, we shared these forms of experiences in the moments of our life. But, how we deal with these things and how the different levels of capability to cope with life depends on each individuals, this is where we have to reconnect with eachother as a collective, as a unity of human beings who supports, able to understand reflections of ourselves in others and not being divided. One single person who felt that his whole existence wasnt being acknowledged would feel dejected and not understood, no opportunity to self-disclose himself with all his complex pain and suffering, this would create loneliness because no one truly sees him, and this I may say apparent when an individual disconnected from the outer world outside himself.

So how to be able to think lightly and not heavily to ourselves. I do believe it starts from how we can try to understand what is causing our anger, our pain, our suffering. When no one can be a place for you to turn to, you can be the sole place where your soul able to rejuvenate and resurrect. Through self-disclosing, review the heaviness of how you feel, how you think and why you are that way, and what hurts you, what or who hinders you, why they are like that to you and why you react in certain ways. Observe this in an objective perspective. Atleast this is the starting phase of you acknowledging yourself without getting dragged helplessly by your own complexes. It is actually relieving when you are able to understand precisely the source of your sufferings, it is like unrooting the toxicities from your psychic system. Afterwards, you can gradually start understanding of how you can anticipate and restructure how you would live your life, not based on past hurts but through clearer perspective and cleansed psyche. It could be a hard process and it will take a lifetime. But the fact that youre choosing to try to understand yourself, it shows that youre loving yourself. This is healing you . So when you can feel lighter, relieved from the heavy burden of complexes, you can think lightly based on your deeper understanding of your own existence, but then you can turn your focus towards the external, to help the world, the collective that needs your perspective and love. This is all to make better integrated humanity.

Written by Eliza Hutapea

Brief Explanation of STOICISM

It’s to be resilient no matter how harsh and challenging the circumstances are around your everyday life, you see it not as a threatening thing but you are very aware of how this world can produce chaos and harmony and stoicism try to show you a way of being beyond pleasure and pain. Stoicism is basically teaches you on how to not be dependable of things that are pleasurable (temporary) which only weakens your spirit and chaotic which can make you respond in unstable manner if you are still sticking yourself with worldly ego.

I felt this stoicism as a way to strengthen our own spirit, no matter how scary or how nice it is to face life. I’m not gonna easily phased by it, I wont get easily seduced, I wont get easily frustrated by little things, everything is as it is in the way it should be as part of the world system.

Imagine that youre already aware of all kinds of chaos and harmony, if you suddenly stumble upon some of those events, you already understand of all the consequences and all the risk or the virtuous value you will attain if you can get through it, if you know how to learn from it. Imagine as if youre in a survival mode being thrown into dark forest and dont know how to get through it you dont have a map. What would you do? This is the part where stoicism teaches us to make use of our mind, to be active participant of blending in to the nature and adapt to its situations or conditions.

Stoicism is like a process of character development as well as spiritual development.

For me, the movie Revenant gives a good example of how to be resilient (to be stoic) despite how life throwing stones at you and trying to eat you alive and abandon you to death but miraculously youre still standing strong, and alive.

Written by Eliza Hutapea

How to Embrace Fear (Memento Mori)

Sorry for what had happened in the past if there were thingz had affected you deeply and it influenced your condition in the present. What I can do to support here is showing the philosophy of mortality and how death connects to it like a door, how chaotic the unknown is in our imagination but the real thing is not so much that we cant never be capable to face it since we are mortal beings, we will have to face harsh encounters and endings. The chaos you fear about is what exist externally outside yourself, correct? This is what you can do on how to manage this:
“When external control is beyond your control, what you can do is by controlling and managing yourself as best as you can, no matter how unexpected it is how fragile it is the circumstances at amy moment, learn to be agile, alert, aware, and manage your mind and heart”. This would strengthen you whenever problems arise, you wont be easily shakened.

And this is already part of the universe’ law. Of how chaotic amd uncertain this worldis, So we have to embrace this chaotic world by knowing the truth of the raw nature, like a warrior learning how to recognize the dark unknown path in the dark wild jungle, you sharpen your mentality by understanding the unknown. Since it is chaos and harmony intertwined in this world, we should also aleast comprehend how to be balance and wise beyond the pleasure and pain that this world offers or forces against us. So when youre not depending so much on mortal pleasure/happiness and mortal pain/suffering, you become immune to the circumstantial fears this world trying to scare you.

Fear of the unknown is like youre going to a zone where everything cant be stable, and your thoughts were wired because of what happened in the past. But instead of you thinking about the future and worry about it. I would suggest you to internalize this Stoicism philosophy : MEMENTO MORI (remember that we will die in the end, and death is inevitable/unavoidable), so show mindful respect to this mysterious aspect, this is not to threaten or scare you, but to prepare you everyday to be mindful and be humble and embrace the mystery of tomorrow, that all of us has the time to meet the end, or encounter uncertain challenges, it will appear unexpectedly. So, how should we prepare for the unknown? its through meditating and anticipating the death itself, not to be feared. But to see it as truth and accept it as we are part of mortal existence. What i mean death here as both metaphorically and literally, when you understand the truth of mortal temporariness (not everytime im secure, not everytime im safe from difficulties), you already beyond the shocking conditions which appear to scare you, you become strong and not soft.

I will share videos that you can watch, to support prepare your mentality.




Read more quotes about Stoicism. It will help you endure and be flexible when you encounter harsh circumstances just like this last Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius, who was a stoic, even though he had full riches and able to enjoy pleasures, he didnt become a slave to safety and pleasure, but he always mentally sharp and careful always anticipate chaos with his soldiers (memento mori) if there came a war. His meditation is not in a comfortable circumstances, he meditate about chaos so to get used to that environment and not consider it as producing anxiety. It is already his nature to get used to in the wild and in the unknown state. And if you want to read his diaries, read the book written by Marcus Aurelius himself titled “Meditation”).

Written by Eliza Hutapea

My Nature as a Scorpio

I am a SCORPIO. This is my nature.  I could heal or poison you with my venomous sting. Bring you into transformation or intimidate and annoy you. I am the Catalyst. I influence and give impact to your psyche (bad or good; directly or indirectly). It is like a machine that will trigger chaos or cathartic release (it is healthy for self-disclosure, to be uninhibited from an internal conflict). You’ll never know when and which will appear. I know that I can be misunderstood, my way of being is a mystery, it could make you either hate, get confused, feel inspired or supported. It’s a mixed complicated feeling; don’t worry, I understand. Being near a Scorpio, could bring out your dark/uneasy weak side which you hide, your dark waters are being cleansed cause it flows to Scorpio’s deep dark ocean. Hence, some would only see Scorpio as a bad mirror, someone you can blame on as toxic while you’re being toxic. I acknowledge your toxicity. But can you obtain that stable awareness and become immune from diverse poisons you concocted yourself within you? That’s why I want to guide you to show your rawest self, to see the darker side of your nature. Since I have also been learning on how to recognize a path to understand myself in this darkness. Sharp daggers coming out of my pores instinctively and I will direct it at you and stab you deep if you try to play foolish and disrespectful. These daggers can also be pointed at myself, so consider this to be fair. I self-destruct to self-resurrect like the Phoenix, it is an excruciating process and somehow could bring others into a complex labyrinth or a blissful awakening. I am both the deep dark ocean and the underground raging lava. I can be cold and passionate. I am intense, I am neither ‘just nice’ nor ‘just unpleasant’. I could be both at the same time, or not. I am an imperfect human being just like you after all.

– The Martian Plutonian Scorpio

How to Motivate Myself and Stop Procrastinating

Clean and organize your room.
Its similar like organizing your thoughts.

And. Try writing down an organized daily habits that can properly set you, and concentrate on what you really want to do in that writing, but keep it simple. Writing it down with your hand directly. Atleast this could influence your brain to subconsciously absorbing informations through what you are focusing on, then afterwards youre wired to habitually follow those internal commands. Whenever your small goals are completed, reward yourself with compliment. This would increase your good feeling and help support to increase motivations, start from doing small things.

This is what I did to motivate myself, by organizing my thoughts.

Written by Eliza Hutapea

Neptune Dominant is Spiritually Urged to be Higher than The Mortal Self

source: Tumblr xs-a-t-u-r-nx
source: Tumblr xs-a-t-u-r-nx
source: Instagram turnretro

Not arrogant or cold (my Venus in Virgo and Scorpio Stellium would make me appear aloof and intense with temper), but with this #12thhousestellium energy, I need to protect and reserve my energy even more to a point I look distant. I had experiences where I sacrificed my own stance because I understand others point of views and their state of being/awareness, and these things always automatically taken precedence. And this is definitely not always good for someone who has neptunian energy like me, if I just let it be too often in order to live in this world, I would become explosive or emotionally overwhelmed to compensate the extreme feelings of loosing the grip to my real self, like the formless water taking the shapes of others egoic minds or forms.  But ofcourse if we to perceive it from higher spiritual perspective, being formless or beyond the categories of this world is wise, because it is nonjudgemental and come from love and compassion, more appropriate rather than holding strong to mortal expressions with selfishness and limited comprehension of the universe and then go against others to start ego battles. But as a mere imperfect human being, I need to always develop comprehension on how to carry this energy with serenity, and being introspective and self aware, not to be easily manipulated and also not to end up trying so hard to control the worldly things in which can be shown as a sign of my own weakness if I struggle with it (which is still often happen by being intensely angry like Rihanna, or feelling depressed like Lindsay Lohan and Marylin Monroe, all of them are fellow #Neptunedominant females). So disciplining the muscle of the inner soul with constant learning spiritually is mandatory, just like a martial artist taking control over his own destructive energy and put it into good use, to defend others, to protect, to understand the complexities of others, to inspire, or to use it for noble purposes. It would be hard or not so difficult depending on each individuals awareness to his or her own positive and negative forces, either to follow the eros instinct or thanatos/death instinct.
Princess Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) is very neptunian.

Written by Eliza Hutapea